Sometimes what should be simply isn't.

As adults, we'd all like our children to look up to the people in this world who really matter: police officers, firefighters, doctors More often than not, our cultural norms force-feed a different brand of heroes and role models to our children. Among those: athletes.

Whether it's right or wrong, it is what it is. As adults, we can build the proper foundational values for our children, but what they see, they see. If you are the parent of an athlete of any age, the best thing to do is to instill the significant responsibility an athlete carries with him or her.

Many high school athletes are totally unaware that they, too, are role models. Coaches, parents and teachers need to make sure that the people representing our schools as athletes are good citizens and role models. Why? Because the younger children who attend high school games, or go to camps and clinics and are around our teen athletes, do, in fact, look up to these athletes and mimic their behavior. I can't tell you how many sports camps I've been at where high-school and college-age counselors and coaches look like Pied Pipers with the younger campers following them around every corner. It isn't too long

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before the youngsters want to talk and dress like them too. Most times it's pretty cute. But sometimes...

If you are a teen athlete, be aware that you are setting an example for younger athletes. Think twice before you make that face at an official. Or before you get in the face of an opponent. Or before you curse on the field of play. Or before you get dressed for a game and walk into a gym with your shirttail hanging out looking like a disrespectful pigpen. Or before you fail to stand for, remove your cap for, or talk and carouse during the National Anthem. Or before you wave off a coach. (We all know coaches do not accept this behavior, right? That the said athlete is promptly benched for an amount of time sufficient to get the message across.)

Think about the fact that the kids watching you want to be like you. Do you want them to grow up to be jerks? No, you didn't ask to be a role model. But you are.

For the younger athletes out there: maybe you're too naive to understand this, but your little sisters and brothers, cousins and even the pesty little kid across the street all see you and want to do what you do. Remember the last time you tried to practice alone in the yard? How many times did your little brother or sister come out and try to get in the game? They want to be you, so do good things and show them how you do what it is you do.

And parents, you can't change who the athletes are that television, newspapers, magazines and the Internet show us. Trouble with guns, drugs, steroids, strip clubs, dog fighting and other idiotic behavior, unfortunately, is a part of every culture.

You can change which ahtletes your children watch and you can change which ones are appropriate for your children to mimic. Explain the good behavior and bad. It takes about five minutes, so put down that newspaper or deli sandwich, or stop rushing to the next business lunch, practice or household task.

And the next time little Johnny or Susie do something great out there on the field, let them know how great it is. But also let them know when they do something wrong.

Scott Ferrari is sports editor of the Greenwich Citizen. Readers may E-mail him at sferrari@bcnnew.com or call 625-4463.